At first I was going to title this article "I Quit!", then after thinking about what this day really means to me I decided to go the positive route. Today I resigned from my job of over five years, in preparation for my big move to Georgia. Now many of my friends and co-workers all salute me for "getting out", "sticking it to management" and can't wait to see the moment when the bosses scramble because I'm gone. As much as this is entertaining, and to some degree gratifying, it's not at all about that. Sure I've been unhappy with my job for quite sometime, but I was thankful to have it and have a salary that was a nice piece of change so I could take care of my family. Let's keep it real.....a sista needed to work, but I was no longer concerned about the status quo.
If you read my very first entry when I called a truce on my life, I mentioned that it was a conversation with my soon to be former boss that gave me the extra push I needed. Had I not had that discussion, I would have continued to struggle along, wanting and wishing for more that may or may not (most likely not) have come. I would have continued to complain about what wasn't coming my way, when in all honesty, I really wasn't making it happen. Because deep down, I didn't want to, not at this job and not in New York for that matter. I was unhappy and it was embedded deep into the very core of me and it was time to change that so I did by saying simply......'I'm Leaving".
Of course when I said those two words to my boss, he had no idea the enormous symbolism behind them. You see I wasn't just leaving WCG, I was leaving all the unwanted, unnecessary, non-productive and hurtful things in my life. Yesterday.....The Last Day of my Old Life, consisted of me going through a process where I forgave everyone who ever hurt me, disappointed me, mistreated me, bull shit me and simply pissed me off. I let it all go. These people and feelings are not invited to my journey and need to stay their ass in this past I'm purposly creating. I learned to let go of all the expectations that people have of me, and all the things that I felt I "had" to do. IT IS NOW TIME FOR ME TO DO ME AND F@#K ANYONE WHO'S NOT ON BOARD.
So this morning as I woke after a week off for Thanksgiving, I was ready to start my day #1. When I sat down with my boss and said "I'm leaving" at first I felt my heart smile. As I explained that I was relocating, getting divorced and starting over, a soft genuine smile appeared on my face. Now as much of a BS'er I know my boss to be, I believed him when he said that I looked soooo happy, and I was. There was nothing he or anyone could say to change it. I thought I would feel like I stuck it to him by quitting, but realized that I just put an end to a chapter of my life. There was no need to feel any type of negative thoughts because everything was looking up. I gave my contribution, and as employee #5 (of a office now over 100), who was hired to run the NY office operations, I have left my mark over these five years. I've left my mark not only in NY, but in Chicago, DC, Austin & NJ. I did the damn thing and can leave with my head up, and more importantly on my terms....if you feel me.
So I welcome the end of this particular part of my life and look forward to the start of a whole new chapter. As my friend Vanessa told me I got an A+ for these lessons and it was time to move on to the next. "Project Me" was fully underway!
~SOTM~
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